Eternity: Why I Believe in God

I will state this now before I continue: I was born and raised a Catholic. Though today I would not consider myself super-Catholic, I still definitely adhere to the fundamental ideology that it possesses. The institution is less important to me than the core beliefs, even if the core beliefs are sometimes veiled by human nonsense (I find this true in any religion though). The reason I mention this is because in any discussion about God, I am likely to be biased towards believing in God, since I was raised my whole life believing in God. HOWEVER, I will attempt to come at this concept from a logical standpoint, without using religious precepts or ideas as my foundation.

I have mentioned before (I think...) that I believe that there is something eternal because in order for there to be an existence that has a clear beginning, there must have been something before that. We know that at least this iteration of the universe has a clear beginning, even if it is in a constant state of birth, death, and rebirth. Nonetheless, no matter how many universes existed before ours and after ours, if it can change than it once had an original form. Furthermore, if it can end, it must have a beginning (something can never end if it never starts, right? Think of it this way: with movies, books, stories, songs, etc., you can never arrive at the end, unless you begin it). If something has a beginning, it cannot be eternal.

By definition, eternity is, "Time without beginning or end; infinite time." (dictionary.com). This is the first definition that appears, and the least case-specific (meaning that the word takes on different meanings when applied to different ideas, events, or things). So, our universe has a beginning, and therefore is not eternal. This would apply to every universe before it, and no matter how many universes precede ours, eternity must still have been around longer. Though it's possible that there is no eternity and that our universe (or maybe even a multiverse, who knows?) and the ones that precede are the only existence, this is highly unlikely. Something can never come from nothing, right (I talked about this in another entry)? Therefore, there must be something that exists before our something, or our reality. Though there could be something beyond that, at some level, no matter how far, that something must be eternity. The only thing is that eternity is not a something, it's eternity.

I've mentioned on other occasions that in order for something to be eternal, it must be omnipresent, and if something is everywhere, it must be omnipotent, since if it's everything then it can do anything without limitations, because no limitations exist since it's everywhere. Eternity is therefore without bounds, and is capable of anything. The ironic thing about eternity (or more correctly, about us) is that we cannot truly comprehend the magnitude of eternity because it is outside of our existence in every way (unless eternity decided not to be...but that's hard to ascertain), given that we are effervescent. Eternity would even have the ability to not be eternal for as long as it pleases. It is impossible to understand the paradox that is eternity. Consider this paradox: if eternity made itself not eternal in a certain area, then it's omnipresence is lost, and technically, it's omnipotence would be lost - however, since it is eternal it could make itself omnipotent even if it's not eternal, and still be eternal while being effervescent, if it was omnipotent at any given point. The confines of our reality make it hard to understand the total lack of boundaries for anything eternal.

Now, even though logic would tell us that anything that is perfect and eternal could not be conscious, because consciousness requires that we are devoting our thoughts and efforts to one thing (even if only for some indiscernibly small amount of time) at any given moment, and therefore not to everything. Moreover, it is through consciousness that we can make imperfect moves or actions. Consciousness is also effervescent, since it seems to not be fully present when we are unconscious, and it goes away altogether when the brain dies. All of these things seem to indicate that consciousness is necessarily fallacious, and therefore nothing perfect can be conscious. From here it would follow that eternity must be necessarily dormant.

Despite all this, if something is eternal and therefore omnipotent, it would have the ability o give itself perfect consciousness (if it's perfect, it can consciously give itself consciousness even though it's not conscious previously, though it stands to reason that if something eternal is conscious even for only one second, that second is eternal because eternity is not bound by time) that functions in a way we cannot comprehend. This consciousness could be even be our definition of unconscious - either way it does not matter, because we cannot fully ever understand the aspects of something eternal. Why? Because words are a boundary within which their territory of meaning is contained. Since words have boundaries, and therefore do not possess an omnipresence in meaning (or anything for that matter), they cannot accurately describe something without bounds. Think of it as using water to describe outer space; though you may be able to begin to describe it, and may be able to come up with something, the full extent of the nature of outer space could not be explained through water any more than water can be explained by outer space. Even better: defining blue and giving it its own identity away from the other colors only by using the color red. Define blue with red. You can't do it. Eternity could, except it knows no boundaries. Though it is kind of pointless then to ascertain things about eternity, even a small bit of understanding about eternity can give great rewards to our lives.

Because our reality exists, I believe that there must be some sort of consciousness to eternity. It is this consciousness that decided at some point in the past, present, and future (eternity is not confined by time, and exists everywhere and everywhen note: i know that's not a word end note - even if it's creations don't) to create our reality, knowing that it would be over before it started (because eternity invariably knows the outcome of it because it has already existed beyond our existence, and still does, and always did and always will), but still thought it valuable enough to exist nonetheless. It is for this reason that I choose to believe in God, or Eternity.

I cannot ascertain what kind of consciousness God has, nor do I need to. If I understood all the dimensions of God, then I'd be higher than God, and it's impossible to be higher than Eternity. Moreover, I'm content enough as I am, and I don't care to fully understand Eternity. I have enough to do with just enjoying it's creations. I'll have all of eternity to understand Eternity, and I have now for this. Why waste my time trying to understand what only Eternity can and what I can only do once I'm eternal? Nonetheless, I always feel compelled to do so, but the thing to understand here is that Eternity is eternal, and knows no boundaries, including the boundaries of human intelligence. For reasons which are almost impossible to explain in words, I just feel that Eternity must have some kind of consciousness, or be real and thinking. No matter what, my belief in Eternity or God gives me a greater sense of peace.

Just remember: Eternity knows no bounds, and therefore our bounded thinking can never fully grasp its nature.

Change: The Key to Relative Perfection

Though part of the title would seem to contradict one of the fundamental ideas I constantly advance (that nothing in this reality can be truly perfect), it is not, in fact, a contradiction. Here is why.

Change is at the heart of everything. When our universe was created, be it through a God, or gods, goddesses, deities, or nothing other than the sheer force of reality operating at a level higher than we can comprehend, it was created such that change would allow us to achieve the highest levels of perfection possible in this reality. Even if one does not subscribe to the theory of an afterlife, and therefore to the theory that we become perfect after we die because we go on to a perfect reality, it must still be noted that change is what moves us toward perfection.

In many ways, it seems like we must have come from perfection. No matter what, the fact that anything exists at all is the sign that something, whatever that thing is, is perfect enough for our reality to exist. Unfortunately, I am not sure how I can rationalize or explain this idea in words, as it is more just a feeling I have, and therefore is nothing more than my sincerest belief. With this in mind, though we come from something perfect, if we are deviation of that thing, then we cannot be perfect in its sense because we are not 100% it. Imagine it this way: an orange cannot be 100% apple if the whole of its existence does not constitute 100% the existence of an apple. Now imagine that the apple is perfection, and that the orange is everything in our reality. Bad analogy, I know, but that's the best I could think of off the top of my head. Sorry.

At any rate, though we cannot be as perfect as whatever we came from while we are in this reality, we can achieve relative perfection in this reality. Relative perfection means the highest form of perfection achievable within this existence. Because we have never seen and can never see outside of this existence, we can aspire to achieve its perfection because we cannot fully know its perfection. Though we can attempt to conceptually ascertain the nature of its perfection (something I do frequently, unfortunately), we can never expect to comprehend the specifics of its perfection, because it clearly exists at a level beyond ours. Therefore, it exists beyond our ability to describe it. Our perception is based off this reality; any other reality is impossible for us to imagine or understand or describe, if given the opportunity to see it as we exist now.

It is for this reason that we should not worry about achieving ultimate perfection. It will not happen now, and we don't necessarily know whether or not we will achieve it after we die, so ultimately, it should be beyond our normal and more pressing concerns. We should, however, try to achieve the highest form of perfection possible in this lifetime. And this perfection, in its most fundamental sense, is achieved through change. I don't mean any specific sort of change, I just simply mean change, as in never trying to be static and never being static in anything, if it all possible.

Though it should be noted that certain things constantly change within or around somebody no matter what they do, these changes do not actually matter if they cannot be controlled by an individual. Why? Just like the perfection that exists beyond our reality, if something cannot be controlled or affected at all by an individual and is not able to be manipulated at all by someone, then it should not concern us because we obviously cannot do anything about it. Time wasted trying to change or affect or control something that simply will not allow itself to be altered by an individual is time absolutely wasted without purpose and without any hope of any success. It should be noted, however, that there are very few things in this world that cannot be changed, affected, or controlled with enough effort or devotion. But those that can't, don't devote much time to, or you'll end up like me - a capricious and relatively unproductive "philosopher" whose thoughts have no more credence than anyone else and who spends far too much time on fruitless endeavors.

Change is the most amazing thing we have in this existence. It allows everything to seem new at some point or another, it allows us to remember things based off other different things, and it allows for excitement to always be found in life, so long as one is willing to look. In its most beautiful sense, change keeps us from being imperfect as we are now forever. I do sincerely believe that one who tries to embrace change will in time reach the highest form of perfection attainable in this reality. Will this perfection be understood or necessarily perceived as useful by others, or even by the person achieving it? It's hard to say, but it's doubtful it would be perceived as useful, because it's utility would be for one's state of mind and comprehension, not for the institutions and structures of today's world. A person who has achieved perfection in this existence would not make the perfect scientific genius, nor the perfect politician. Perfection is not to be associated with intelligence because intelligence is understanding the patterns and ideas of this world, whereas perfection is changing until you move beyond it as much as one can in this life.

It is virtually impossible to create a system for describing the path to perfection or what the state of perfection is like. I am nowhere near perfection, because though I recognize the need for change, I am not able to change the things that truly matter, and so I am becoming static. Perfection in this world does not necessarily mean leaving, or withdrawing to a life of isolation like that of a hermit, but I imagine that it does mean understanding certain things, mostly things about one's own self that most people don't understand about themselves. Why is this so great? The greatest superpower one can ever hope to have is the ability to know themselves. The greatest mysteries in this world are our own minds, because we cannot fully comprehend our own personalities so long as we use it. And the greatest limitations in life are self-imposed, because the most powerful force over our actions is our own personality, and when a personality or mind feels hindered or afraid about something in any way, a barrier is placed between them and the action.

A person who has achieved relative perfection though understands a tremendous deal about themselves. Though we can never fully understand ourselves so long as we exist here, a perfect person would understand almost everything, or at least nearer to everything than anyone else. This removes many to most of the boundaries to their potential, and like a bird freed from a cage, it will soar, going anywhere. I cannot truly say if anyone has ever achieved this perfection. I imagine that Ghandi was nearer to relative perfection than most, but that is only based off what I know of him. He was able to move beyond what his body and mind told him he could not do, and did it anyways. He was able to starve himself to near death in his efforts for peace. Ultimately, nothing could ever stop him. Death only removed him physically from here, but nothing else could impede him. In his mind, nothing hindered him from his goal, and the results were drastic. Some of that was being in the right place at the right time, but some of it was just one amazing individual who was dynamic enough and who understood enough about himself to make one tremendous splash in the pool of life.

Why does change bring us closer perfection? Because we can never truly know perfection, we must assume that change it is good. Though we can become worse through change, we can also become better, and though we cannot really become worse by staying the same, we cannot become better either. We take that risk, but you have to figure if you change enough, some of it must be good, and eventually, the good will outweigh the bad. Moreover, as we change, we become like clay being sculpted. If we change, we become some fantastic creation of the process, representing the nearly infinite number of facets to our life and the infinite number of influences that made us. We represent a reality created by perfection, and forged from the things that go on within it. If we do not change, then we never become that finished model, and we fail to become one of reality's great creations and a living testimony to its splendor. To me, it is too much of a risk not to change than it is to change. And in life, you can't necessarily expect others to change you; you have to be willing to change yourself. My biggest fault is that I am unwilling to change the important the things about myself, and I am creating a shell in which I will hide from reality and begin to become static. I hope that find the strength to follow my own beliefs and ideas and CHANGE.

You don't have to agree with me. But at least recognize that in changing things about ourselves, whatever they may be (and I don't mean physical as much as I mean mental), you move ever closer to the perfection of this world. And that, crazy or bored reader (you have to be crazy or bored to read any of this boring stuff) is one reason why I love this world, for all its flaws and suffering. Good night.

A Small Note about Death

I talked at length about death recently, but I was worried I that I didn't clarify a couple of small, yet important details. This will be a very brief entry, because there isn't too much left for me to say about death at the moment.

First of all, fearing death is healthy, in certain situations. What I mean to say is that it is perfectly normal to fear death when faced with situations that could potentially threaten your life. This is a biological process that is instinctive and imbedded in our minds and bodies. In truth, if one was not at all afraid when faced with a possibly life-ending threat, I'd be worried. We can't control our instinctive fear of death, and I don't mean to imply that we should try to control it. We should never let it cause us to panic too much, because the end result of that may end up being, well...death.

I mean to not fear death as an idea, concept, or reality. Furthermore, it is never healthy to fear death in such a way that it ever impedes your ability to live life to the fullest. A long life spent not living because of fear of death is far worse than living a short but active and full life. Never let fear or thought of death become a roadblock in your life. Because in the end, no matter what, you'll never come out of life alive (I've heard someone famous or some writer say that, but their name or anything about them eludes me at the moment - either way, that phrase is not of my own creation).

Enjoy life while you have it, and don't worry much about death. Rather, worry about not living. After all, it is hard to truly die when you've never truly lived. That is all for this note. I'm sure that you all are happy about the brevity (that is, of course, assuming that anyone has even ever read this...). Good night.